Andy Grammer’s “Honey, I’m Good” Is About Me, And The Lyrics Are A Complete Lie


This is the 24th post of MyLoveLifeWritten4You. In this month’s post, as always, I have another update on my love life. As you all may know by now, I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years, Andy Grammer. In today’s post, I would like to explain our break-up to you because I learned a valuable lesson from it: you can never fully trust a man.

I’ll start by saying how Andy and I met. About 5 years ago, Andy’s first single, “Keep Your Head Up”, came out and I hate to admit this, but I absolutely loved it. I was in a little bit of a funk about 5 years ago, but I heard his song, and it inspired me to actually keep my head up. I was so moved by the song that I wrote a long letter to Andy saying how much the song touched me and yada, yada, yada. He wrote me back, we met up for coffee and we started dating after that. Over the past 5 years, all seemed to be going fine in our relationship, that is until I heard his his new single “Honey, I’m Good” for the first time.

A few months ago, before the song was released, Andy came over to my apartment to have me listen to it. Being his girlfriend and his biggest fan, I couldn’t be more excited to hear it. After listening, my face turned red. I was very suspicious of the lyrics, so I began to question him on some of the specific lines. The first one I played back was this one:

I could have another, but I probably should not.

“So you were out late drinking?” I said. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“Baby, I was just having a few drinks with the guys that night” said Andy.

Interesting. I went back and played another lyric that stood out to me:

And these long long legs are damn near.

“So you happened to notice that there were a lot of attractive girls around you?” I said.

“Well, yeah there were a lot of girls checking me out that night” he said. “But I wanted to come home to you, baby. I wrote this song because I’m crazy about you, baby” he said.

“When was this? Last weekend?” I said.

“Yeah, it was Friday the 11th” he said. “I was out with the guys and wrote the song the next morning.”

“The 11th? I remember that night. I called you over to watch a movie and you said you couldn’t come because you were stuck in the studio all night” I said.

“Baby, I’m sorry. You know you’re my baby” he said.

Baloney I was his baby! What a croc! Ladies, if you are going to be in a relationship, you have to know that most men will just try to hide the truth. So, I tried to pry the truth out of him by playing back one last lyric:

I’ve got to bid you adieu.

“You were in France, weren’t you?” I said.

“No, baby! New York. I just had to find something to rhyme with ‘stay true to you’ so I used ‘Adieu’ instead” he said. “Baby, I will stay true to you.”

That’s when I knew for sure that he had something he wasn’t telling me.

“Wait…you will stay true to me?” I said. “Does that imply that you weren’t staying true to me in the past?”

I had him trapped. I saw the stupid coy look on his face as he paused before answering.

“Well, I guess I should clear something up that I didn’t put in the song” he said.

“What’s that?” I said.

“Well, I actually kissed one of the girls with long legs at the bar” he said. “But it didn’t mean anything. It was only a few seconds, and right after it happened, my feelings for you doubled! That’s why I wrote the song… for you, baby.”

“Get out of my apartment” I said. “I never want to see you again.”

“Baby, let me explain” he said.

“No, no. Honey, I’m good” I said and pushed him out the door.

That’s the last thing I said to Andy and I haven’t talked to him since. His agent actually reached out to me yesterday and happened to mention that he has been a wreck in the studio lately. He apparently took a vow to never drink again and his agent said he is now working on a ballad. What a croc!

As for me though, I’m single now, and I couldn’t be happier. Today, I’m going to go for a long walk and sing a song of a more honest tune. A different song I heard recently was that new Justin Bieber one called, “I’ll Show You”. I like it because I don’t want a man to just tell me he’s going to be true to me… I want him to show me.

Maybe I should write Justin a letter.

‘Till next month!

XOXO – MyLoveLifeWritten4You

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Some People Do


“Hey, can you watch my computer for me? I’m just going to go to the bathroom quick” she said. “Sure, no problem” I said. She left to the back hallway of the coffee shop and waited outside the bathroom.

Of course I would watch her laptop for her, I thought. If this woman got back to her seat and found out that I hadn’t looked over her computer while she was gone, who else could she trust in this world?

Sarah, the barista, came over to my seat and placed my usual Sunday french roast cup in front of me. I grabbed the cup for a quick second, but it was boiling hot. I flinched back and accidentally knocked the coffee all over the woman’s computer.

A few girls on the nearby couch looked over at me in shock. I knew what they were thinking:

You better clean that up before she gets back.

I rushed over to the counter to grab napkins. There, that should do the trick, I thought. I cleaned the table and everything. Now, I just needed to test the keyboard quick to make sure it still worked. I pressed the space bar multiple times, but all I saw was a black screen. I had destroyed her computer. I looked over again at the girls on the couch and now realized that the whole coffee shop had their eyes on me. I made eye contact with Sarah behind the counter and sensed what she was thinking:

Go to the computer repair store across the street and fix it before she gets back.

“How old is it?” said Roger, the computer repair man.

“It’s not mine. A woman sitting next to me at the coffee shop next door told me to watch her computer while she went to the bathroom, but I spilled coffee all over it!” I said.

“Is she still in the bathroom? We gotta get this thing fixed before she gets back! ” said Roger.

Roger went to work and I pulled out the walkie-talkie that Sarah tossed to me on my way out of the coffee shop. “One of the couch girls cut her in line, but I’m not sure we can stall her much longer!” said Sarah.

Suddenly, a scream from Roger. “It’s working!” he said. I thought about hugging him to celebrate, but we both knew that the job wasn’t finished yet. Roger handed the computer to me and I bolted back to the coffee shop.

“Hurry! She’s in the bathroom, but I just heard a flush!” cried Sarah. I ran back to the table and propped up the computer just how the woman had left it. I breathed a sigh of relief and held a thumbs up to Sarah. She smiled at me from behind the counter.

Now, the moment of truth. The woman came out of the bathroom and sat back down at our table. She tapped her keyboard and saw her computer just as she had left it. I waited a moment for it, but the thank you never came. But why would she thank me? I thought. She probably just thought I drank my coffee for the past 15 minutes and didn’t do anything.

The small stuff, I thought. Most people just don’t notice it.

Then, Sarah came over and placed a new french roast cup in front of me. “It’s on the house” she said. “But, be careful with this one.”

But then again, I thought. Some people do.

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2/12/16 – Gotham Creative Writing Session


2/12/16 – Gotham Creative Writing Session

Transcribed the two 15 minute exercises

Prompt #1 – Kiss and Tell

Prompt #2 – Sweet Tweet

 

Prompt #1 – Kiss and Tell

“Hey, Peter. What’s up?” said Mark.

Peter didn’t respond.

“Can I ask you a question?” said Mark.

Peter stood upright and now appeared to be listening.

“Have you ever had a kiss so warm that it still melts your knees just thinking about it?” said Mark. “I mean, I had a kiss like that with a girl over five years ago, but I’ve lost her. We grew apart and went our separate ways.”

Peter still didn’t respond, but from his breathing you could tell he was listening.

“I think she has a boyfriend now, but should I call her anyway? Or am I chasing something I can’t have again?” said Mark. “But, I remember that night we kissed so well. It was literally a scene from a movie. Am I only wanting the moment back now because I’m lonely? Or is it because I’m still in love with her?”

Peter still didn’t respond.

“Ah, what’s the point? I can never tell the difference between lust and love” said Mark.

Mark strapped the leash to Peter’s neck and took him for a walk.

 

Prompt #2 – Sweet Tweet

It was 5:00pm, two hours before my Valentine’s Day dinner date with my girlfriend. I was on my computer at home. I knew I shouldn’t stalk her Twitter page, but I couldn’t help it. And there it was: her most recent Tweet sent five minutes ago at 4:55pm…

“He is literally the worst boyfriend ever.”

I closed the tab and stared at the black screen. I knew she would eventually find out about the lunch I had with Karen last week, I thought to myself. I’m done. I’m a terrible person. I knew Karen and I shouldn’t have had lunch. What was I thinking? Karen and I have always been friends!

Suddenly, a phone call. My girlfriend. I let it go to voicemail. But wait, I thought to myself. She’s probably going to call Karen right now. I had to call her back to explain it to her first.

“Hey, how’s it going?” I said.

I fell onto my bed to try to bury myself in innocence. This was the end. I had spent all of this time worrying about being a good boyfriend that I hadn’t realized I had turned into a bad one. Beneath my blankets, I still had the phone pressed to my ear to prepare for the anger I was about to hear.

“Oh my god” she said. “You will not believe what Adam just did in the season 1 finale of Girls. He is literally the worst boyfriend ever.”

 

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Update on Writing Project


I have written every day, but most of the time I have written journal entries. Journal entries are great for reflection and clearing my thoughts, but they do not contribute to my true writing goals, which are to write stories and sketches that might resonate with people. Writing these journal entries has felt like eating candy. And I’m not referring to the 20 mini-Snickers that I have had today. I’m referring to the type of candy writing that is just putting nouns and verbs in the same sentence just in order to hit a goal word count for the day.

No more! I will aim to do more creative writing exercises, such as one that I did last night at Gotham Writing Workshop. It was very refreshing to go again as I haven’t been to one of their sessions since March of last year. It lasts 2 hours, and they give you a random prompt that you write about for 15 minutes. After that, you can share your work, and then you break for snacks and wine to talk to other writers. Shoot, there I go again with eating sweets. I instantly got a sugar rush from some of the Valentine’s Day cookies that someone brought. But after the cookie break, you then do another 15 minute session with a new prompt and share again if you want to. It went well! I will post the two pieces I wrote last night right after this post. The prompts we had last night were “Kiss and Tell” and “Sweet Tweet” in honor of Valentine’s day. Remember again that we only had 15 minutes to write, so know in advance that they are a little short.

But, the creative writing session last night at Gotham felt like real progress. It felt like eating whole-wheat bread instead of mini-Snickers. The exercise truly challenged me to step out of my comfort zone and write about something I didn’t think I would be able to. In the 13th day of this writing project, I have realized that with many things in life, even though it feels good to accomplish a goal, such as the daily word count, it is important to understand why you set the goal in the first place. Did you challenge yourself and make progress? Progress should be the goal. I am reminding myself to understand why I started this project in the first place: to make progress as a writer so that I can maybe write stories and sketches that resonate with people. Snickers has nothing on that kind of feeling, and I will only get to that feeling through ensuring I challenge myself each day.

But it looks as if progress is already being made because I am about to go put some multi-grain rice on the stove to eat with dinner tonight.

Hope you have a nice night, and know that another short story will be coming soon!

Jack

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New Writing Project Announcement


Hey!

So, I have updated the categories on the right-section of the blog to (Humor, Fiction, Non-Fiction and Announcements). This post is an announcement. Or is it fiction??? No, it’s an announcement.

Hope you liked The Burrito Bandit! Maybe one day there will be and Episode Four.

But the main reason for this announcement is that I have started a new writing project for February. If it goes well, I hope to continue it possibly for the rest of the year. So here it is:

February Project Description:

To write 30 minutes every day, or anything from 500-1,000 words, for the month. The 30 minutes of time spent writing can vary from sketching out new short story ideas, to journals, to observations, to random thoughts and so on. I won’t be posting every one of these, maybe one per week so I can share my progress, but the main goal is to just write a little bit more per week.

Other main goals for the project are:

*To create more ideas. With the new ideas, I can hope to think them out more thoroughly with outlines  and brainstorming.

*To be able to handle many layers of content and not have it be distracting. 500-1,000 words a day for nearly 30 days will give me 15,000 to 30,000 words of pretty much random content. I hope that I will be able to handle this much material and know what to throw out, what to put in my back pocket, and what to pursue more.

*To not expect everything I write to be amazing, but to just practice the process of writing. I would compare it to running / training for a race. This project is not racing. I imagine this will feel like just going out for a simple 3 mile jog, or a 30 minute stretching / light core session. This daily routine is nothing worthy of praise, but still, something that is essential for the race day, or the final project.

*To feel more strength and confidence as a writer.

*To nearly maximize my potential as a writer. I feel that if you spend 20+ hours a week on anything, you are in the ballpark of being able to maximize your potential in that field. So, since I currently spend 5-10hrs a week on writing (with my one writing class, homework assignments, and writing new stories), this project will put me at about 13.5 hours a week on a good week. If I am able to produce consistent 13.5 hour weeks writing, then I will be much closer to the 20+hour week range of where I can maximize my potential.

*To explore different styles of writing. With less pressure and knowing that each day I don’t need to write something I like, I can focus on different formats and genres without being afraid to fail.

Conclusion:

I am excited for this and think that it will be a good experiment. I have already done Feb 1-7 and it’s been going pretty well. At the very least, it will give me something fulfilling to do each day as opposed to just scrolling senselessly through Facebook or Reddit for at least 30 minutes a day, which I currently do. I feel like this 30 minute exercise will be much more rewarding.

Hope to share a new story soon!

Jack

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The Burrito Bandit: Episode Three


EPISODE THREE

The NYPD issued a $10,000 reward to find Tommy Hamilton and posted his picture on the ‘Wanted’ list. The police wanted to make sure they were ready for the next incident, which wasn’t too far away.

One night, a few weeks after George had been killed, a woman, Suzanne Roberts, and her young boy, Bobby, were walking down a street in the Financial District late at night when they heard the loud cackling in the alley. Nobody else was around. The mother and son hurried their pace, but then saw a slouched figure with a gun pointed at them.

“Hello, ma’am, have you had dinner tonight?” said Tommy.

“What? Yes… I just ate. Please don’t hurt my boy!” said Suzanne.

“Where did you eat?” said Tommy.

“Chipotle” said Suzanne.

“Keep talking” said Tommy.

Tommy motioned for Suzanne and Bobby to come behind a dumpster, where he appeared to have been living for the past few weeks. Bobby noticed about 40 Chipotle bags laid across the pavement to form a bed.

“I want you to go back to Chipotle and buy me 12 burritos with chicken, white rice, pinto beans, all three sauces, sour cream, cheese, lettuce and guac” said Tommy.

Suddenly, Tommy grabbed Bobby away from his mother.

“Mom!” yelled Bobby.

“Bobby!” yelled Suzanne.

“Now, if you want your son to live, you won’t call the police and the burritos will be back here within 30 minutes. Understood?”

Suzanne rushed to the Chipotle where she had just came from and placed the order. But before checking out, she explained the whole situation to the check-out woman and they called the police.

Tommy waited behind the dumpster with Bobby and heard sirens in the distance. Could she have told on me? he thought to himself.

Eventually, Suzanne yelled out and said that the food was there. Tommy got out behind the dumpster, but was surrounded by police.

“Drop your weapon! Put your hands where we can see them!” yelled one policeman.

“What seems to be the problem officers? I’m just getting Chipotle for my son here” said Tommy.

“We know who you are. This is the 6th call we’ve had this week. You’re the Burrito Bandit!” said the policeman.

“No, you have the wrong guy. You must be thinking of….”

Tommy opened fire on the police. They shot back at him and hit him in the leg. Tommy’s gun dropped from the pain and Bobby sprinted for his mother. Tommy was still alive, but he was in serious condition because of the gunshot.

When it was safe, a photographer from a news truck came over to the crime scene and took a picture of Tommy sprawled across his Chipotle bags. The picture went right to the front page news the next day and stated something that New York City had been hoping to see for weeks: The Burrito Bandit had been captured.

–  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  

As the weeks passed and the Bandit remained in prison, the media posed questions as to why Tommy Hamilton would go insane over one burrito. Some say that it gave him a new identity… some say that he had experienced incredible customer service… some say that it was because of the GMO’s.

There is much to speculate over what caused Tommy Hamilton to become a criminal, but there is one thing that is for certain: when the prison guard did his rotation tonight, he looked inside the Burrito Bandit’s prison cell and it was empty.
TO BE CONTINUED…

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The Burrito Bandit: Episode Two


EPISODE TWO

The following Saturday, a strong blizzard blanketed over the city and not many were out walking the streets. However, fifteen minutes after Chipotle had opened, a limping man wearing a “Chipotle – Got Beef?” sweatshirt entered the restaurant in a cheerful mood.

“Good morning, folks!” said Tommy.

Mark and Sarah shared a look of disbelief. Why was Tommy at the restaurant so early in the middle of a snowstorm? Mark hadn’t even turned on the grill because he didn’t think customers would even be coming in because of the storm.

“Oh hey Tommy… wow, you came in through the big storm?” said Mark.

“Yep! Can’t wait to have a burrito today!” said Tommy.

“Ah, it’s going to be about 15 minutes, the grill isn’t even on yet” said Mark.

“That’s no problem, I’ll wait! I brought my laptop so no rush” said Tommy.

Tommy went back to his seat and Sarah went over to whisper to Mark.

“Does he plan to stay here all day? It’s a Saturday. Why isn’t he back at home?” said Sarah.

Mark shook his head. He had no idea. Eventually, Tommy received his burrito and went to eat it in his booth.

“Ahhhh that’s the stuff. Very nice work, Mark” said Tommy.

“Um, thanks” said Mark.

An hour had passed and not one other customer entered the store. After browsing the internet for a while, Tommy closed his laptop.

“Alright, Mark, fire her up again!” said Tommy.

“Tommy, I’m sorry dude, but we are actually heading out soon. Our manager just called us to close up. The storm isn’t stopping and he’s worried we won’t be able to make it home if we stay another hour” said Mark.

“Ha, that’s a good one, man. Now, fire up the grill” said Tommy.

“Dude, I’m not kidding, we have to close up” said Mark.

Tommy walked over to the Tabasco sauces and grabbed one.

“We can all get out of here safe and sound if you just make one more burrito” said Tommy.

“Woah, dude, put down the Tabasco.  I’ll make one quick for you” said Mark.

“Perfect” said Tommy.

–  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  

The following Monday at Chipotle, Tommy smiled and told Sarah that he would have the usual. Suddenly, the regional manager came up behind Sarah and stopped her from making the burrito.

“Excuse me, sir, but you are banned from this restaurant chain. Mark told me what you did on Saturday” said the manager.

“What? You can’t ban me! I’m your #1 customer!” said Tommy.

“Sir, you can’t expect to threaten employees with a Tabasco sauce and still come to our restaurant as a valued customer. Please get your lunch elsewhere from now on” said the manager.

“Are you kidding me? OK fine, I will just go to the one a few blocks away” said Tommy.

“That’s not going to work. We have informed the other chains in the city to be on the lookout for you. We sent them a photo of you from our security cameras from the tabasco incident’ said the manager.

Tommy didn’t say a word. He rushed out of the store and went back to work. Rick was eating a salad and saw Tommy gathering his things quickly at his desk.

“Everything ok, man? You look a little frail. You need something to eat?” said Rick.

“I got banned from Chipotle” said Tommy.

“Haha dude you are crazy!” said Rick.

“And I quit.” said Tommy.

“What?” said Rick.

“I said I quit. I need to find a way to getting my Chipotle back” said Tommy.

–  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  

A week had passed and nothing had been heard from Tommy. Friends and family didn’t even hear from him. Rick figured Tommy left town to go to another city where he could eat Chipotle, but other co-workers suspected he had just moved back home with his parents. Nothing was confirmed where Tommy had ended up, until one day, someone found him.

George Robbins, a young man in his 20’s stepped out of his NYC apartment on a slow-moving Sunday, but he never returned. According to his roommate, he was headed out to get dinner with a friend. After dinner, he was coming home in a dark alley in the Financial District when he heard the sound of a cackling man who had a gun pointed at him.

“Hey there, son, are you headed out to eat some dinner tonight? said the man.

“Yes, please put the gun down, what do you want? Take my wallet!” said George.

“No, no, I don’t need your wallet” said the man.

“What do you need?” said George.

“Dinner” said the man.

“Oh I just ate dinner with a friend, but I can go get you some!” said the man.

“Where did you eat?” said the man.

“I ate at Subway” said George.

That’s when witnesses heard the gun go off. When police arrived at the scene, they found George’s dead body with a Chipotle Tabasco sauce over the top of his head.

Tommy’s calling card.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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